Everything I Know about Marketing I learned from Google

Round 2: PPC MC vs SEO Rapper

March 10, 2011 by Aaron Goldman

The Ultimate SEO PPC Rap Battle continues and it looks like we’re a lock to do this live at the next Search Insider Summit in Captiva. Giddyup!

Lyrics below.

Update: Chuck came back strong… see the bottom of this post for his response.

Alright stop whatcha doin’
Cuz I’m about to ruin
The rapper known as Mo Serious.
See he came after me
With some rhymes that were quite delirious.
Talkin’ bout I’m on drugs and other crazy things.
The only drug I’m on is Charlie Sheen.
Yeah, I may be a diva but I earned that right.
I got more screaming fans than those dudes on Twilight.
Maybe I should quit rapping and stick to writing books,
But I can aways get by on these good looks.
You’re like the cat from Jersey Shore that nobody missed,
With that way in every video that you’re pumpin’ your fist.
C’mon, what is that move, Chuck? Seriously!
But enough about you and enough about me.
Let’s get back to SEO and PPC.
Chuck, you backed the wrong horse, now you’re going down.
I’m gonna slay you in Florida and steal your crown.
Cuz PPC’s the one that pays the bills.
SEO’s for them with those hacker skills.
You’ll do anything for links, beg, borrow or bait ‘em,
You worship Matt Cutts. Man it looks like you ate him!
You’re obsessed with position, aways tryin’ to get on the top.
But with PPC you buy your way in like K-Fed with hip hop.
Yeah, I may look like that dude. Hell I’m probably whiter.
But I can guarantee you that my rhymes are tighter.
“Oops I did it again” is what you say when you screw up,
Get your client blacklisted when your link farm blew up.
PPC’s more controlled. Sure you pay the price.
But I’d rather do that then roll them SEO dice.
It can take IT forever to update your website.
But with PPC your ad is up overnight.
Now I’m gonna save somethin’ up for when we battle in Captiva,
You best stay out the sun so you don’t catch a fever.
When we go live, we’ll all see what you’re worth.
You call yourself the King? More like Colin Firth.
S, S, SEO… heeeell no.
Chuck, you’re quite the producer. I ain’t gonna lie,
But let’s see what happens when we go on the fly.
No machines, no rehearsals, no do-overs,
And I know the SIS crowd won’t be sober.
It’ll be like 8 Mile and I’m B-rabbit.
I’m gonna make owning you my personal habit.
That’s all I got, Chuck. Time to take your lumps.
And while we all fade out, let’s do Chuck’s fist pumps.
C’mon. Pump it up. Pump it up.
I got him.

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